Happily deceptive I dance with silence,
Bleeding sadness, each step I take
lingers in the nothingness
It shames responsibility with repetitive rhetoric
Writhing ruthlessly between ears of dread
self-scolding, these words in my head
Still late, from last week, a life of broken plans
Invite cracks like weeds that thrive from darkness
appearing from nowhere, returning to nowhere
Pensively I ponder, What if I made it welcome?
A happy mistake, with space to allow
my anxious quake
Is there meaning in this zoned-out time zap?
A process? A map? It does not fit the schedule
it disrupts and demands my complete attention
A waterfall of sand fills my mouth
I spit it out as it pokes at my mind
with a force of query; have I given my time to all I love?
Seeking fault in my non-actions
Like its arrival had been invited
by my undoing
But no, it will come
And go
and come again
And I will welcome it like the friend
Who visits, yet
reminds me why I need to let them go
